Now I am all for the 1950's. I love the music, the styles and the innocence of that decade but this is going just a little too far. I definitely think that not only was this "article" written by a man but a group of them that were locked up in some conference room over on Madison Ave while drinking scotch and smoking cigarettes. Think Mad Men for those of you who watch.
Now ladies read the following carefully because there maybe a quiz later.
THE GOOD WIFE’S GUIDE
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.Here is your cereal dear, now go away!
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.
He is lucky if you even had time to shower that day let alone put a bow in your hair.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Invite the next door neighbor's wife over for a make out session; I think that's gay enough.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Hide your bon bons and sex toys from your hard day of housekeeping.
Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc, then run a dust cloth over the tables.
What's a dust cloth?
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Catering to his comfort will satisfy me exactly how again?
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.Maybe you could try putting the children in the washer thus killing two birds with one stone because following these guide lines is clearly grounds for acquittal by temporary insanity...
Be happy to see him.
Yeah, see him leave the next morning maybe.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Open wide ladies...daddy's home!
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first; remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
As long as I have control over the check book, yes dear I totally agree.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very need to be at home and relax.
What "other" forms of entertainment do you think they are referring to exactly? hmmmm...
Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
I think when they say spirit they mean Jack Daniels, Dewers, Chivas...
Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
Oh dear, my jello mold didn't set up again...smack! Shut up bitch and make me a martini!
Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Complain if he stays out all night? Yippee, I've got the whole bed to myself!
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Again...open wide
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Yes, arrange his pillows over his face while he is sleeping as you are pressing down with all of your might.
Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
This one I don't get, why would I question the dog?
Remember, A good wife always knows her place.
and what place to hide the body so no one finds it...
House Keeping Monthly – May 13, 1955
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